


Broken, Beaten, Scarred

by Acacia_Mac



Series: The Fates Decide - Night Fires Burning Bright [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alpha/Omega, Assassination, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Cold War, F/M, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Miscarriage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Torture, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:44:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1705307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acacia_Mac/pseuds/Acacia_Mac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From out of the Ashes comes the Winter Soldier.<br/>”Your work has been a gift to mankind.  You shaped the century. And I need you to do it one more time.  Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos.”<br/>Part Four of The Fates Decide  --  Night Fires Burning Bright</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: 1) There are some medical terms in here, I will say sorry if I screw them up. Google can be your friend and your enemy. :)  
> 2) there will be references to the other parts of this series, if you have not read them, please read before.  
> 3) I will be lightly touching on the Winter Soldier years and the build-up of Hydra, Avengers and TWS so hopefully you have seen both of these two movies. The big Avengers tie-in will be a different story not in this series but in the next series dealing with Loki. This insane ‘universe’ I thought of.  
> 4) Lastly... OMG thank you all for reading this series. I cannot thank you all enough. My heart grew 10 sizes. The love I have gotten from all of you, and I hope I was able to fix all the mistakes you guys pointed out. Thank you for those. Love you ALLL!!!! <3<3<3<3  
> 5) This story I can say was the hardest to get written for me. It was originally going to be the ‘years between’ TFA and WTS but then my mind kinda took a whole other turn. What I had originally written moved around and new things added, deleted. Yeah this is no where near what I had originally planned but hope it all makes some sense you guys and you like it.  
> 6) There will be parts of torture, medical testing, brain washing, assassinations, rape, M/F and M/M parts in here. I will touch on the Avengers and WTS here. This story will be the lead up to the ‘final’ in this series (But not the storyline for sure). Also hints of miscarriages etc.

_ ~~~***~~~*** _

_ Previously.... _

_ Pain, that was all the man knew.  Cold and pain, surrounded by water.  The man began to pull himself with one arm to the edge of the water surrounding him and fell face first into the snow at the river's edge.  He had no idea how he got there, he wasn't sure who he was.  What was he doing there by the river?   _

_ <'Here, just as Herr Doctor said'> came a voice from just a few feet away.  The man tried to open his eyes to see who it was.  The men who came to him, he couldn't understand.   _

_ "Help... please..." he begged hoping the men could understand him.  he felt them reach for his jacket and start to drag him away from the river and he blacked out from the pain.  He wasn't sure how long he was unconscious but when he woke the man glanced down at his body trying to figure out where he was.  He didn't feel pain anymore, just cold -- deep to the bone cold and numb.  He saw a long blood trail beside him as they dragged him farther from the river.  'What happened to my arm,' he wondered.  Did he ever have an arm?  How could he lose his arm? _

_ The man didn't realize he had once again passed out  until the next time he opened his eyes he was laying on a bed.  The ones who had brought him there were not around but the man saw others in white coats as bright lights were shinning down on him.  He glanced up as a smaller man looked down at him, he looked familiar but from where the man didn't know.  "Sergeant Barnes," the small man in the white coat said. _

_ "Who? Who am I?  Where?" the man could only ask.  Who was this Sergeant Barnes?  Was that who he was?  He didn't remember being in the Army or whatever military this doctor thought he was in.  The man could only watch as the doctor seemed to smile brighter at his answer.  Trying to reach out to the doctor, the man glanced down and once again noticed he had no arm on the left side.  "What?" _

_ "The procedure has already started," the doctor told the others in the room and the man could only wonder what he was talking about.  "The first phase was successful, now it is time to complete the process." _

_ The man glanced over and saw one of the other doctors move up to him with some sort of saw.  Pain shot through his body as the blade began to dig into what was left of his arm, blood, bone, muscle... it all being ripped apart and taken away.  The man screamed and tried to stop the pain but he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't stop the pain.  The only thing the man could do was close his eyes and let the blackness once again take him.   _

_ The man wasn't sure how much time had passed, but his mind was clearer, the pain gone.  He couldn't remember how he got there or where he was.  He wasn't sure his name, or if he even had a name but he felt better, stronger.  One doctor bent down and the man reached out and wrapped his hand across the doctor's throat.  When did he get a hand, the man thought before he was stabbed with a needle and blackness once again took over. _

_ When he next woke the man remembered his hand and how it felt wrapped around the doctor's throat.  Raising his hands up, he could only look at the differences between the two. One flesh, the other metal.  What was he?  He remembered the small doctor from before, he knew him from somewhere.  "You are to be the new fist of Hydra," the doctor told him.  "You are a weapon that no other can match.  You will bring forth the new world order for Hydra.  You are OUR weapon, our greatest creation."   _

_ The man, weapon, could only stare at the doctor trying to place where he knew the man from.  His mind filled with information -- weapons, languages, tactical movements, politics, targets, but nothing made sense.  The man looked around the room and tried to think.  Was he only a weapon?  He knew of nothing other than how to kill, so he must have only been a weapon.  The Fist of Hydra.  There was nothing else. _

_ "Put him on ice," the doctor stated.  "We will continue in a few months once I finish what is needed to be done."  The doctor watched as the man \-- no Fist, was placed inside a small cylinder and the door closed in over him.  As a cold mist began to fill his vision and fill his lungs and mind as the world around him faded away. _

_ It wasn't until he woke again, unsure how much time had passed that he discovered his name. _

_ Hydra's Iron Fist, their weapon, their asset.  He was created to help bring order to the world, to bring freedom through the chaos. _

_ The Winter Soldier.   _

_ And he had a mission to complete. _

~~~***~~~***

_Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised_

_As they start to cry hands held to the sky_

_In the night the fires burning bright_

**_Iron Maiden  Number of the Beast (1982)_ **

 

 

~~~***~~~***

**New York 2011**

Opening the door and placing the keys he had been given on the small table, Steve walked into the apartment that SHIELD gave him three months ago.  He had gone for a walk throughout the city hoping beyond hope that he would have been able to make sense out of things.  He knew that it had been almost 70 years and things had changed, however it wasn’t until he started walking through the streets of his old neighborhood did it really sink in how out of touch he was.  It was one thing to be told everything he once knew was gone, it was completely another to see it with his own eyes.  The old rundown street where he and Bucky had grown up at was now littered with expensive brownstones; the corner market where they would go to get his medication was now a Starbucks.  The street venders who used to sell their homegrown vegetables for a nickel were now street venders selling pre-paid cell phones.  

Steve had read everything he could on what happened to the others.  To him they were still alive, young, fighting against Hydra but what was only days to him was years to everyone else.  All had married, had children, moved on and all but Peggy were dead.  Howard and his wife died in a car accident, Dum Dum died in an attempted robbery, Jim died of cancer back in the late 80s, the others luckily had died of old age.  Steve remembered how he and Bucky would work themselves to death just to get a few dollars for food or rent, and now Steve had a bank account that had more money that could feed a small country.

Times had changed and Steve wasn’t sure if he belonged here at all.  

The first few weeks were the hardest for him.  He had been checked over by doctors, been questioned by shrinks, debriefed and then given a place where he could live his life out in ‘peace’ or so they told him.  Steve knew that one day they would come knocking at his door, wanting him to return to action.  It was what he was created for and Steve knew he wouldn’t be able to say no.  The peace they told him about however, Steve knew would not be coming.  The small file they had given him from Erskine’s notes had given him an idea of what he had been missing had some answers to some questions he and Bucky had.  There were still so many questions he wanted and felt he needed answers to, he just wasn’t sure where he could go about getting them.

It was only a few days after he had been given the apartment when the cramps started.  They weren’t like when he had been in heat during the war; it was more of a sharp pain deep in his abdominal area.  Then he found blood.  It was a full day of Steve being curled up in a small ball on his bed, pain radiating throughout him and a sudden complete sense of emptiness as tears fell down his cheeks.  He felt like he had when he lost Bucky the complete feeling of his soul being ripped in two.  Steve had never wanted to die more than he did in that moment, wishing that they had never found him, that the water and cold had just taken him away forever.

When he woke the next day the pain had stopped as did the bleeding, however the emptiness remained.  Steve figured that it would always be there.  Nothing would change that even if he lived to be a thousand.

As Steve passed by the kitchen table he picked up one of the files he had sitting there.  Since he had been given the files on his old team and the computer, Steve had looked at them every day.  He knew it wasn’t healthy and that the shrinks would have a field day with it all, but it was his way of trying to bring what he knew and what he was seeing together.  He was trying to adjust and if seeing the ‘DECEASED’ across their faces and reading on what they had gone on to accomplish helped then who was to say anything.  It wasn’t like anyone else had an ‘in’ on how to cope with waking up so far in the future.

Reaching out Steve grabbed a hold of Peggy’s file her address and phone number glaring at him.  He had wasted enough time, he had to talk to someone even if a part of him wanted to let her live her life in peace.  Picking up the phone he dialed.  “Hello, Mrs. Cater Residence how may I help you,” came a voice on the other end.

The voice didn’t sound familiar but then Steve couldn’t be sure with the number of years that had passed.  Taking a deep breath, Steve resisted the urge to hang up.  “Ma’am?  I am wondering… Is Peggy Carter around?”

“May I ask who is calling?”

“An old friend,” He said.  “Ma’am, my name is Steve Rogers.  I …”  Immediately he heard the phone drop and talking in the background.  Steve began to doubt that this was one of his smarter ideas, he knew he should have made the trip over to England instead.  

Steve was kicking himself as he debated hanging up the phone until a voice came over the other end.  “Steve?  Steve, is it really you?”

Closing his eyes, he felt the tears start to flow down his cheeks as memories started to swarm in front of his mind.  “Peggy?  God… I didn’t want to believe.  I know I should have done this in person but…”

“Steve,” Peggy said her own tears coming through her voice.  “When?  How?”  

Steve collapsed down on the couch in the middle of the room and just let everything out.  The crash, to being found and thawing out, waking up to this strange new world and finding out everyone was gone.  “SHIELD found you,” she asked knowing that would be the case.  “Howard had looked so long, so many years for you.  If he was here I know he would be so happy.  It was one of the main reasons why we formed SHIELD and I’m so happy to know that we found you.  How are you, really?”

Steve ran his hand through his hair and leaned back against the back of the couch.  “I’m a mess, Peggy.  The world moved so fast, so far without me.  The War has been over for a long time and for me it’s only been… almost six months.  They’re all gone, Peggy.  We’re all that’s left and I am trying, trying so damn hard cause it’s what everyone expects but I look around me and I don’t recognize anything.  Phones and TV’s in every house, cars and people everywhere, the city is so damn bright now at night, hell even where I grew up is gone.  Fairies can now marry, and not be afraid to hold hands in the middle of the street…”

Peggy laughed a little and it brought a small smile to his face.  “That is a term I have not heard in years.  They are calling themselves homosexual, queer, gay, bi-sexual… so many terms now.  Times have changed Steve so much but it isn’t all that bad.  Some good has come during the years and some bad but a lot of good as well.  We freed all the camps, the Jewish people now even have their own country.  We have made so many medical advances that some of the diseases we had then are almost all but extinct.”

“It just takes some getting used to.  How different everything is and I know they want me to just get back into things and move on but I don’t know how.”

“Steven Grant Rogers, you listen to me,” she said in her most authoritarian voice.  “If Director Fury thinks that then I will personally have a talk with him.  However, I do not think that is the case.  They know you need time, which is what they are trying to give you.  One day, maybe they will call on you again, but you deserve a chance to just be, Steve.  You deserve to be happy and be able to live your life as you were not able to then.”

“I don’t know if I can.”  Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “God, Peggy.  There’s so much I want to talk to you about, so much… so much I have to explain.  I just, I don’t know.”

“Well it is settled then, I have been wanting a change in scenery.”  Peggy gave a small smile that could he felt through the distance.  “I had been planning to move to a home near DC in two months and when I arrive, I expect you there to visit.  Do you understand, Captain?”

Steve let out sigh and a smile.  “Yes, Ma’am.  It’s a date.”

“And this time, do not be late,” she said with a smile.  

It was only three weeks after his call with Peggy that Steve had to put his plans on hold.  As he was at the gym and Fury handed him a file, Steve felt like everything he had built since coming out of the ice was crumbling around him.  “Are you here with a mission, sir,” Steve remembered asking as he sat looking out at the New York Skyline on his way to the base.  “Trying to get me back in the world?”

“Trying to save it.”

For that was what Captain America was created for.

 

~~~***~~~***

**Two months later**

Steve sat on a bench in the park across from where Peggy was living.  The past few months had been hell for Steve, and he wanted answers – answers he knew Peggy could supply at least in part.  “Are you going to stay out here all day,” a beautiful voice quietly came from behind him.  “It is cold as anything out here for my old tired bones, and quite frankly it is tea time.  Besides, Captain you’re late.”

Steve gave Peggy a small smile as he placed her offered arm into his own and lead her back across the street.  “Only about 70 years, but I did promise to take my best gal dancing.”

Slowly the two went into the small condo where she was staying and Steve sat her down on the couch as he made his way over to the kitchen for the tea.  “Oh Steve I am an old woman, I can barely walk let alone dance,” she took the tea that he offered her with a little cream and let out a sigh of relief.  “I am happy you found me now, that you came.  They say I have _Alzheimer's_.  My mind is slowly going, it may be only a few more months or years before I will not remember much.”

Steve reached over and placed his hand on hers giving it a squeeze.  “You will always be beautiful, always be the woman who should try and shoot me when I got stupid.”

Peggy laughed and shook her head.  “That, my dear, was only to make sure the Shield did what Howard said it would,” she said with a slight glint in her eyes.  Taking another sip of her tea she looked over at Steve and squeezed the hand that was still surrounding hers.  “I saw you on the news, about New York.”

Steve placed his tea cup on the table in front of them and turned to look at Peggy.  Despite the wrinkles and signs of aging, she was still one of the most beautiful women he knew.  If things had been different, if there hadn’t been Bucky; Steve knew he would have stayed with her.  “Yeah.  If someone would have told me that I would be fighting aliens from outer space or working with large green monsters and people who believe they are Gods then I would have not only laughed in their face but most likely punched them.”  Steve ran his hand through his hair and turned to look out the large window showing the park.  “They asked me to join SHIELD, but…”  Picking up his tea again, Steve stared down at the drink silently hoping it would give him the answers he was looking for.  “Did you know?”

Peggy looked over at him and wished she didn’t know what he was talking about.  “Howard, Phillips and I started SHIELD because we knew that there would be people out there that would need us.  Howard had found the Tesseract and brought it in.  It was our belief as I hope Fury explained to you, that one day it may be able to be used for good.  Did I know that they were using it to try and create something else?  No.”

“They were making weapons, Peggy.  Weapons that we fought trying to rid the world of.  Weapons that I gave my life trying to make sure they didn’t come to use.  Do you know what it was like walking into that room on the Hellicarrier and seeing the very weapon that killed Bucky?  Bucky lost his life because of those and SHIELD is trying to recreate that?  How can I when…”

Suddenly a lot of answers to questions she had had over the years came so clear.  “You loved him.”

Steve stood and made his way over to the window hoping that even the thought of the open air could help ease the sudden loss of air he was feeling.  “For as long as I can remember,” he quietly answered.  “It wasn’t like we could have done anything back in those days, we never even talked about it but I know it was there.  For both of us.  It wasn’t until…”  Steve moved back over to sit down on the table and grabbed a hold of both of Peggy’s hands.  “Remember telling me that there were side effects to the serum?”  Seeing her nod, Steve continued on keeping his eyes on their hands.  “There was something different about me, things that the supplements that they gave me helped with but couldn’t cure but it helped a lot.  It wasn’t until I rescued the guys from that factory that it all went crazy.”

Peggy nodded remembering the small file she had left with SHIELD about Erskine’s thoughts on the Super Soldier program.  “The Alpha/Omega/Beta dynamics.  I remember Dr. Erskine telling me about it.  How it would help shape the future of the program.”

“Yeah, well… I guess he wasn’t the only one who thought that.”  Steve took another deep breath and let it out slowly.  “Bucky was experimented on by Zola and as time went on, well, he started to show similar symptoms as I did.  I think Zola had figured out how to recreate at least that part of the serum.”

“So the two of you…”

Steve blushed slightly and gave a small smile.  “It wasn’t what we had planned, it just sort of happened.  I think all those years of caring for each other and not being able to express it, then this sudden … need we were feeling from whatever was done to us.”  Steve risked looking up into her eyes, praying he didn’t see what he feared would be there.  “You’re not mad at us are you?  Disgusted?”

Peggy gave him a large smile and carefully stood.  She made her way to a small locked chest she had in the corner and opened it to pull out a thick envelope.  “Steve,” she began as she made her way back over to the couch.  “I knew what you felt for him the second I saw you stand nose to nose with Colonel Phillips and demanded to find out about James Barnes’ status from Azzano.  It was obvious to anyone with eyes willing to see that you didn’t go into that factory to save all those men, you went there to save your friend that the love you had was clear as day, at least to me.”

“I did and still do really like you Peggy, and I love you.  I don’t want you to doubt that,” Steve pressed.

“Steve if I have learned anything in my years is that people love others in many different forms and you can’t help who you love.  You have always had a big enough heart to love more than one and I was lucky to be one of the ones,” Peggy reached out and placed a kiss on his cheek.  “However, I am sure you have questions, and although I can say I never fully understood what went into much of his research, I do know that he was very meticulous about his note taking.”  Slowly she handed Steve the large envelope and gave him a small smile.  “He gave this to me for you.  This file should explain everything, at least I hope.  The good and the bad about the dynamics and what he had hoped would happen.”

Steve opened the envelope and pulled out a thick file.  “You never read it?”

Peggy shook her head.  “He meant it for you, or at least at the time for the Soldiers that would be created.  He knew one day questions would be asked, things would happen and he knew he would not be around to answer them.”

Steve looked at the file without opening it.  He knew he would have to keep this file safe with his life if need be.  He knew that the possible secrets to the serum were hidden deep within and if it fell into the wrong hands… Shaking his head Steve set it to the side as he felt something else deep inside the envelope.  Tipping it over a small key came out and landed in his hand.  “What’s this?”

Peggy reached over and pulled out a small piece of paper that was stuck inside as well.  “After, well everything I made it a point to gather all of yours and Barnes’ personal effects.  Some of course went to museums however there were some that seemed too personal.  This is a key to those items.”  

“Thank you,” Steve breathed trying to keep the tears he felt building from falling.  “I didn’t even think…”

“Take some time, Steve, for yourself.  Travel.  See the places you had wanted to.  Enjoy life for a little while. Then once you are ready, then you can decide if SHIELD is what YOU want,” Peggy once again leaned over and gave him another kiss on the cheek.  “I’m going to get more tea.  Would you like another?”

~~~***~~~***

Steve pulled up in front of what looked like a bank of some sort and got off his bike.  After checking in with the front desk he was lead back to a large room with small vaults all across the walls.  Each vault was about two to three feet tall and just as wide.  “Ah, Mr. Rogers.  Mrs Carter informed us you would be coming.  Do you have your key,” a small round man said as he came into the room.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.  Are you planning on emptying the vault today, sir, or just to look?”

Steve was shocked that he would be able to take everything out of there if he wanted, grateful even.  “Just a look today, I came on my bike today.”  The man nodded as he placed his key in one of two slots as Steve did the same with his key.  Steve was told to take his time as the other man left the room, leaving Steve alone to this part of his past.  

Inside the vault box Steve found many of his old sketchbooks, ones he had placed in safe keeping with Mrs. Johnson before he left for his training along with old pictures his mom had kept.  Leafing through one of the books he could only smile sadly as the pictures of his mother, father, the old neighborhood, Bucky all filled his vision.  

Setting those to the side, Steve next pulled out a small box.  Inside he found his Captain Bars, dog tags and Bucky’s tags.  Steve pulled Bucky’s tags out of the box and held them tightly in his hand.  He remembered the last time he had seen these tags and he couldn’t stop the tears from falling.  It was after the meeting on the mission to grab Zola and Steve went back to his quarters to find Bucky still asleep on his bed.

_``````_

_Steve ached for his sketchbook as he sat down in the chair beside the desk looking over at Bucky sleeping peacefully. On his stomach, naked but the thin sheet covering his rear, his arms curled around the pillow and mouth slightly open.  It was the most at peace that Steve could remember Bucky being since before he left to come to England so long ago.  Steve knew he would have to wake Bucky for the meeting but he was loathed to do it.  All Steve wanted at that moment was to remember this before the war decided to take the quiet away again with bombs, battle, blood and death._

_Glancing over to the table, Steve caught sight of Bucky’s dog-tags sitting on the edge.  He didn’t remember them coming off the day before but then again, Steve knew they had both been a little preoccupied.  Reaching over, Steve ran his fingers across the raised letters and sighed.  He didn’t want to forget this, he never wanted this feeling to go away.  Steve removed his own tag from around his neck and placed Bucky’s around his.  Bucky had joked once about them just switching their tags, that way they had something of each other when they were separated, but Steve had always said no since it was a way for identification.  Now, however, Steve wanted Bucky close to his heart when they went back out.  Especially now with the current mission.  He wanted Bucky to know that no matter what he would have his back, and his heart._

_``````_

Steve remembered going back to his quarters after his de-brief from that mission – drained, empty and he had spotted his own dog-tags sitting where he had left them.  In their rush to go to the meeting and Bucky’s anger, Steve had forgotten to give them to his friend.  He had removed Bucky’s from around his neck and placed both together to place them in the drawer.  Steve could only lift the chain now and place it around his neck.  If he couldn’t have Bucky he would have this small part of him with him now.

Until the day he could join him for good.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's return to the world isn't going as he expected. Something starts lurking in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note:  Let me start off and say I am sooo sorry it has been so long.  RL knocked me down and kicked me into submission these past couple of months.  My mom passed unexpectedly the first of June and life… well just couldn’t find my muse for a while.  I am working my way back to writing, and hopefully updates will be coming.  I have thought a lot about this story over the past month, and finally able to get some of those thoughts down.  Once again, I am sorry for the long delay.  Hopefully things will start getting going again.  I cannot thank you all for your support and for reading.  Hopefully I haven’t lost all of you with this long delay.  Big hugs to all of you for supporting this insane idea.
> 
> sorry this chapter is so short. 

Part Two

~~~***~~~***

“Sir, with all do respect, something needs to be done about these… Avengers and Fury,” a man in a deep blue suit stated as he stood in front of a large tube.  

The other man with him reached over and laid a hand on the tube before him feeling the chill from the glass.  “Fury has done us a favor.  The Avengers shouldn’t be an issue.”

“But the Tesseract is gone, we lost the very thing that belonged to us.  It was what Schmidt and Zola had spent their lives on all the research we had and on our plans.  If you cannot see that then…”

Reaching out the other man wrapped his hand around the man’s throat, choking the air out of him.  “Are you questioning my judgment?  Me?  I have given my life to this organization, to the truth of what we do.  I have the say, I am in charge.”  Releasing the man, he turned back to the tube and gave a small smile.  “Even without the Tesseract, we will win in the end.  Because of the events in New York, we have what we always wanted.  Project Insight is a go, we will have the means and the ability to create the world we want.  And if Fury and his ‘Avengers’ become too much a problem, if they try to stop our plans, well we have just the solution on that as well.  The Asset has never failed, and he wont fail us if the need arises.  Have faith, my friend.  Things are all falling into place.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Pierce.”  The man rolled his shoulders then reached into his handbag.  “On another note, we have an issue.”  Handing a file over, the man continued.  “There is a scientist we need eliminated.  The doctor has intel that could put Hydra at great risk if he is allowed to defect.  We have reports that SHIELD is working now to try and bring him safely to the United States.”

The older man nodded reaching for the file.  “I know just the thing to take care of this.  The dear Doctor will not make it out of Odessa alive.”

“What do you plan?”

The older of the two just looked over and smile.  It was time to wake the Asset.

~~~***~~~***

****

The Asset opened his eyes and stood up from the chair he had been sitting on.  Men in white coats and some armed men in black lined the walls around the room.  Clothes had been placed on a small table near the middle of the room and the Asset made his way over to it.  He knew what to do, how to prepare even if he wasn’t sure how he knew.  This was routine.  They would wake him, he would dress and start arming himself as they brief him on what they needed him to do, and then he would head out.  The Asset was not sure how long he had been asleep, or where he was at.  He knew that they removed the memories of his previous missions to protect them all in case he is captured, or so they told him.  As he began to pull on the dark cargo pants, the Asset saw his handler walk into the room.  “Status report.”

“The Asset is ready, sir,” one of the doctors informed the man.

“Good, good.”  The older man then placed a picture on the table between them catching the Asset’s attention.  “This man has intel that we cannot allow to fall into the wrong hands.  Find him and eliminate him.  He is a level nine target, he will be guarded by the ones who are trying to help him, however they are insignificant.  You have 48 hours.”

Things moved quickly after that.  Memorizing the image of the man, the maps that were laid out before him, the Asset quickly finished suiting up and grabbed his rifle.  Within the hour he was on a plane, within six he was lying in wait on a small water tower facing the main road that was coming in and out of the city.  Reports were that the doctor had been picked up an hour prior by one person and they were traveling down this road in a mid-sized black sedan heading to the airport.  The Asset pulled out his rifle and made a final adjustment on the scope.  Once he was hidden and had a direct line of sight to the road, he lined up his rifle and waited.  

Hours passed, day turned into night and the Asset never once moved from his location.  Time was ticking down.  One of the men who had brought him to this town had directed him in another direction, however the Asset knew that they would be taking another path – a path with less obstacles, with less hidden pathways for an ambush, a safer route.  The Asset knew he had been in this area before, even if he wasn’t sure how he knew that or when he may have been there, but he knew.  

As the sun began to sink in the sky and after many vehicles passing without incident, the Asset finally caught sight of the mission.  The Mission was sitting in the rear of the small sedan, one woman in the driver’s seat with her red hair shinning bright in the late day sun.  Lowering the site of his rifle, the Asset took aim at one of the front tires and fired.  He needed the target out of the car to ensure the completion of the mission, the bullet-proof windows would not have stopped his shot, but could have cause enough of a variation of the bullet to cause a failure.  The car began to spin around going down a small ditch before stopping.  The Asset quickly stood and ran to the secondary position for the final shot.  He spotted the woman pull the doctor behind her with him kneeling and her standing, gun drawn and looking toward the water tower he had just left.  Quickly the Asset lined up his shot and fired.  He watched as the bullet went through the stomach of the small woman and made a direct hit to the doctor’s brain.  

After a couple of minutes, the Asset walked down to the side of the car and looked at the two bodies.  The woman lifted her gun to try and shoot, but the Asset quickly kicked the gun out of her hand and farther down the hill.  She would live.  Glancing down at the doctor he could only confirm that the man would no longer be a problem.  Half of the man’s skull was missing, not moving or breathing.  

Mission was completed.  Giving the woman one last look, the Asset turned and left them where they lay.  He had a plane to catch.

~~~***~~~***

** Six Months Later **

** Early 2012 **

After the events of New York and his visit with Peggy, Steve had taken her suggestion and travelled some.  Six months to visit all the places in the US that he and Bucky had talked about late at night in the comfort of their bed.  SHIELD had supplied him with ‘suppressants’ as they were called now but it did not stop the heats completely nor did it fill the emptiness he had deep inside of him.  Steve could feel anger rage in him at times – blind, hot, raging anger.  Steve knew that he would one day read the file Peggy had given him, to find out if there was a way around all of this, but he knew it would be a while before he could.  All the times he and Bucky had been demanding answers, begging to figure out what was going on, Steve knew he now had those answers if he only read the file but for some reason it wasn’t the same without Bucky there with him.

After his travels, Steve moved to DC to not only start his work with SHIELD but to be close to Peggy.  Steve had tried to call her at least once a week while he was away and he could tell that her health was starting to worsen.  Her memory of certain things were starting to slip and at times she was starting to forget something they had just told each other the call before.  Steve knew if nothing else he wanted to be there for her if he could, for as long as they had together.  

DC was so different than New York, but for Steve it was almost a breath of fresh air.  The few memories he had of this city was brief visits to the White House or some ‘special event’ Senator Brandt had wanted him at.  Nothing like New York with years of memories to haunt him, reminding him of what he lost.  At least in DC he had nothing to remind him of Bucky.

Settling into his new apartment, Steve began to unpack some of the boxes he had.  It wasn’t much really – some items he had from his SHIELD apartment in New York, to the box of items that Peggy had saved for him.  Steve had kept the vault in order to keep his most precious items, including the file safe.  “Going for the Spartan look,” came a voice from behind him causing Steve to reach for his Shield.  Turning Steve caught sight of Natasha standing, leaning against the wall looking around the room.  “Forget how to go shopping?”

Steve shook his head as he placed his shield back down and continued to place books he had in the large book case in the living room.  “Oh I know how to shop that’s not the problem.  I’m not that old.  You forget I was out of town for a few months and my Harley hardly has room to bring home much.”

Natasha walked over and picked up one of the books and nodded in approval.  “At least you have some good taste in something, for an old man,” she said with a smile.  

“Is there a reason why you are here, or is it just to critique my belongings,” Steve turned toward her with his arms crossed over his chest.

Natasha moved over to the one chair he had in the living room and sat setting a bottle of vodka on the floor.  “Can’t a friend bring a house-warming gift?”

“Well friend yes, but I’m sure that isn’t the real reason for your visit,” Steve turned and went back to unpacking setting his sketchbooks down on the floor beside him.  

Natasha reached over and picked one up, slowly flipping through the pages.  “Who’s this?  She’s pretty.”

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “Is nothing private anymore,” he silently cursed as he stood to look over her shoulder.  “That is my ma.  Must have been late 1920s before she got sick of course.”  Steve could only smile down at the image on the page, remembering his mother, of the love he always saw in her eyes, like he was the most precious thing in the world.  Shaking those memories out of his head, Steve grabbed the vodka and headed toward the kitchen.  “I always thought people brought wine or whatever to a house warming but somehow I’m not surprise.”  Steve placed two fingers in each glass and brought it back out to Natasha and handing her one.  “Now I ask again, why are you here?”

Natasha drank her drink in one solid move and set the glass down.  “Fine, I’m here to tell you Fury wants to see you first thing in the morning.  It appears they want to get Captain America right on the job as quick as possible.”  Stealing another look around the room, she shrugged.  “Guess furniture shopping will have to wait.”

Steve could only roll his eyes, he knew he shouldn’t be surprised by anything SHIELD did – not after New York, but he was.  “And here I thought I had two weeks left of my leave.”

“Considering you were off the grid for six months, I think that they are anxious to have you back on the job.  Don’t look at me, I only work for them I don’t make the rules,” she replied with her hands up in surrender.  “But it looks like we will be working together, Cap.  You’re stuck with me on this mission.”

“Let’s just hope that there are no crazy demi-Gods or flying space aliens with this one,” Steve said with a smile.

“I’ll drink to that.” Natasha was about to salute her drink when she suddenly remembered hers was empty.  “First more vodka, then I’ll help you unpack the little bit you have left.”  Natasha turned her head a little before she reached the kitchen where the bottle was and gave him a smile.  “You do know you missed the big grand opening of the Captain America exhibit?”

Steve bit his lower lip to try and hide the smile he felt forming on his lips.  “Must have lost my invitation in the mail.  Plus you have to give an old man a break… these new found things,” he said holding up his cell phone.  “Still trying to figure these new gadgets out.  Oh look there’s a calendar on it.  Amazing.”  At least some good came out of the New York mess.  He had friends now.  How far he could truly trust them, well that was another question, but ones he knew that when it came down to it, they would have his back.

~~~***~~~***

** May 2013 **

Alexander Pierce, former head of SHIELD, member of the WSC loved his current position.  In part he owed it all to Nick Fury, for without Fury’s recommendation, he would never have been a part of the WSC.  He could work SHIELD in the direction that all of his people are working toward – a true world order.  Project Insight was moving along without a hitch, even Stark had helped with the new design in part, within the next year, Pierce was sure that they would be ready to launch. 

Once the system goes live, then the world will know just who they are dealing with.  Long term plans were in place, the right people where they needed to.  All Pierce had to do was make sure that nothing went wrong.  Everyone in his ‘inner circle’ had to make sure that they did their jobs, the last thing Pierce wanted to do was use the Asset before the last minute.  He had plans for Hydra’s best weapon, and if they pulled him out too soon, then all the planning could go to waste.  No, Pierce had plans for the Asset, plans for SHIELD, plans for Fury, and plans for the world.  It was nothing new, they would finish what had been started over 70 years ago.  All they had to do was wait, plan, and make sure nothing goes wrong.  Zola was almost done with what he needed to do, Fury and his little group were busy running around cleaning up minor bumps in the road.  All in all Pierce knew all would work out in the end.  

The New World Order is approaching, the list has been made.  By the end of the next year, Hydra will rule the world.

~~~***~~~***

** November 2013 **

It had been just over two years since what everyone had called the ‘Battle of New York’ and almost that long since Steve agreed to join SHIELD.  Almost all his missions were with Natasha and even though he knew she couldn’t be trusted fully, he enjoyed their friendship.  SHIELD had changed since he had been with the beginning phase of SSR in many ways.  Steve often questioned the missions, the reasons, the mind-set of the leadership, at least in his mind.  Rarely did he voice any of his opinions, but Steve was beginning to wonder how long he could continue on with SHIELD before things got out of control.  

He had tried dating a couple of times, tried to just find a way to fill the void that had taken residence in his chest.  No matter what he did, who he slept with nothing could even come close.  After a few months of looking Steve had practically given up.  He knew that no one would be able to make him feel complete, but he also knew he wasn’t dead yet.  As much as he had always hated Bucky dating every dame and sleeping with random people, Steve could see the appeal at times.  It wasn’t often but once in a while Steve would just go out to one of the bars and meet someone who would catch his attention.  

Of course he never once told anyone about his extra activities.  It wouldn’t look good to have ‘Captain America’ sleeping around, so he kept it silent, and went places far from his apartment and SHIELD.  It didn’t stop Natasha however from trying to set him up with anyone she could find.  He kept trying to tell her that he had no interest in dating anyone he worked with nor was he interested in dating at all.  He fell back on the ‘waiting for the right person’ speech most times than not, and he could admit to himself it was in part true.  Random sex or one night dates were fine, but anything long term Steve wanted something more.  Something he knew he most likely would never have again.

Peggy was getting worse, rarely remembering he had been there before always showing surprise and happiness that he was alive.  It hurt a lot to see such a strong woman being brought to that point by this illness, but Steve was determined to stick with her until the end.  He owed that to her for everything she had ever done for him.  He loved her.  

So Steve spent most of his time with Peggy when he wasn’t on missions, which in all honesty Steve was going on more and more.  It was one of the few things he could feel good about, one of the few things that kept his mind on what he no longer had, and what was coming.  He could feel numb, goal in mind every time he suited up and headed toward the mission point.  Steve wasn’t sure what else he could do.  Fighting was in his blood now, protecting people was all he knew.  The only difference for him was he tried to keep his distance as much as he could.  He would talk to others, would laugh with them and get to know them, but for the most part Steve always kept them at arm’s length.  Natasha was the only one who really had pushed past his defenses, forcing her way into his life to be ‘a friend’ as she called it.  

“So, I was thinking Kelly,” Natasha began with her feet up on his coffee table.  “She seems nice and I know that she thinks you are the sweetest guy she has ever met.”

“Must we really go through this again,” Steve asked rolling his eyes and taking a sip from his glass of whisky.  The two had determined that one night a week Natasha would come over for dinner and they would have movie night, or as Natasha often told him it was her way to try and bring some pop culture into his life.  “I told you, I won’t date anyone I work with.”

“Have you ever even been on a date,” she asked stealing a glance over to him with a small smile playing on her lips.  

Steve could only shake his head as he filled her glass with the vodka she brought.  “Yes, actually quite a few,” he answered.  “Bucky used to always drag me along when we were growing up for a double date.  Of course at the time, I wasn’t what most dames could consider a catch.”

“Now Bucky sounds like my kinda guy.  Fun, exciting… you could’ve learned a thing or two about having fun.  You’re off duty, Steve.  You can always go out, hit the clubs, go out to dinner, something.  Anything has to be better than wasting your time here.”

“I go out, you just don’t see it.  I may not be the perfect spy in your book, but I have learned a thing or two,” Steve could only shake his head.  Turning his attention to the TV, Steve could only shake his head.  “What is this by the way?”

“Rocky Horror Picture show. It’s a classic, must see.”

“Classic huh?  Thought classics were I don’t know, Maltese Falcon, Wizard of Oz, Gone with the Wind, you know real classics.”

“This is the 21st century.  Trust me, this is a classic and a must see for everyone.”

Steve glanced over at her and rolled his eyes.  “Fine. Fine.  If you say so.”

“I do.”

 


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: 1st off : WARNING!!! Serious Spoilers to CA:TWS here. If you have not seen it... Be warned. 2nd, I kinda made an opps in the time line in the last chapter, I had forgotten about the 5 years ago Natasha had run into the WS... So will go back and correct that. My bad. Please forgive me. :) PS I do not own the characters, Cap, the others, nor have anything to do with MCU. This is a pure work of fiction. Parts of the dialogue comes from CATWS which I do not own, and have no rights to.

Part 3

~~~***~~~***

** April 2014 - Washington DC **

Alexander Pierce exited the elevator in the lower levels and walked straight to the locked door.  After the retinal scan, he walked in and nodded to the group of doctors running around the room.  Deep against the far wall, Pierce could see the cryogenic tube as the head doctor was looking over some read outs.  “Report,” Pierce stated as he walked up beside the man.  

“We have begun the process, sir.  Tomorrow we should be able to get him prepped with the machine, and he will be ready fully in two days time.”  The Doctor continued to look over the readings and took more notes.  “Sir, I do want to stress once again, I am unsure of the time-line on this mission. We know from experience too long out of cryo could cause problems.”

“Then I expect you to do what you need to do to ensure that nothing happens.  Everything is falling into place and we will go live within the month.  I need the Asset to be ready and we need him to be at the top of his game.  If you cannot guarantee that and do what is needed, I will find someone who can.”

“Too many wipes in a short period of time could cause damage,” the doctor began then shook his head.  “I just want it known, sir, my first priority is Hydra and our mission.  I also want it known that I will do what is needed, however, I feel we should wait until it is closer to the time.”

Pierce walked up to the tube and placed his hand on the glass covering the Asset’s face.  Pierce always knew that the Asset was good looking, but whenever he saw the sleeping form of the man brought out feelings within him that he could not afford to have.  “Your concern is noted.  Just do what needs to be done, Doctor.  If we are going to win this war, we need everyone ready.”  Pierce glared at the doctor and walked away.  They had come so close to having everything that they wanted, they had all worked so hard over the years to have things fall apart now.  Pierce knew that if the doctor could not keep the leash on the Asset, then he would find someone who could.  He made note to make sure that  Rumlow and his team kept a close watch on the Asset.  

~~~***~~~***

** May 2014 **

Steve walked up to his bike and could only shake his head.  The mission to the Lemurian Star had been a mess.  He still wasn’t sure what Sitwell had to do with anything, and what information Natasha had been downloading.  What was the mission, if not just to rescue the hostages?  What was Fury planning and what did he want?  So many questions, and no answers Steve could find.  

_ “For once we are way ahead of the curve,” Fury tried to explain the need for this new system.   _

_ Steve began to feel sick.  How could they?  “By holding a gun to everyone on earth and calling it protection.”  This wasn’t the SHIELD he thought he had joined, what Peggy had helped to create. _

_ “You know I read those SSR files.  Greatest generation.  You guys did some some nasty stuff,” Fury countered and Steve felt his insides go cold.   _

_ He could remember all the innocents they had eliminated in their battle with HYDRA.  The nights they had all stayed up, drinking the alcohol that Dum Dum had hidden in his flask.  The restless nights they all had had.  “Yeah we compromised.  Sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well, but we did it so that people could be free.  This isn't freedom this is fear.” _

_ “It's getting damn near past time for you get with that program, Cap.” _

Steve wasn’t sure what he had been thinking, what he had been hoping.  None of this had been what he had signed up for.  He had used the missions he had been sent on as a release, a way to try and forget the past.  To do some good with what he had been given, what he had left.  But now, Steve wasn’t sure what to think.  He needed to find a center again, his center.  He needed to find a reason to keep going, which had been getting harder and harder as the years went on without Bucky.  Bucky had always kept him grounded, had always been able to keep him on the mission at hand.  Now however, Steve wasn’t sure what the mission was.  

As he walked through the Smithsonian exhibit on ‘Captain America’, Steve could only look at his life, at a time when things although had been tough had seemed so much easier.  Things had not always been cut and dry but at least he hadn’t had to deal with all the secrets and the unknown.  All the memories he had from before came rushing back to him as he looked upon himself before the serum.  He could only smile in a way at how they were romanticizing it all, his life.  So many things within these walls were wrong, they had made Captain America the hero that the world needed at the time, made him so much more than he ever felt he was.  They never understood then and Steve knew they still didn’t know. 

 

‘BATTLE TESTED. CAPTAIN AMERICA AND HIS HOWLING COMMANDOES QUICKLY EARNED THEIR STRIPES.  THEIR MISSION; TAKING DOWN HYDRA, THE NAZI ROGUE SCIENCE DIVISION.’  Steve could only stand there and look at the larger than life images of his friends - his comrades.  He hadn’t lied when he told Fury that they had done some stuff that was questionable.  But they knew their mission.  This small group of men from different backgrounds, different lives had come together and became so much more than races, religions, nationality.  It had always been said it was Captain America and his Howling Commandos, but to Steve he was the outsider. 

Turning Steve glances at the large display and felt his heart break deep within him.  ‘BEST FRIENDS SINCE CHILDHOOD, BUCKY BARNES AND STEVEN ROGERS WERE INSPEPERATEABLE ON BOTH SCHOOL YARD AND BATTLEFIELD.  BARNES IS THE ONLY HOWLING COMMANDO TO GIVE HIS LIFE IN SERVICE OF HIS COUNTRY.’  Steve could still picture the train, still feel the cold wind against his skin as he reached out.  Never far enough, never enough.  Steve read through what was written and could only shake his head.  Much like himself, so much of it was false.  Steve could only wonder if there would ever be anyone who knew the truth, knew who they all were or if the lies would go on.  Seeing Bucky’s smiling face on the small TV below the bio, Steve knew that whatever lies were told, whatever falsehoods had been handed down from generation to generation, he would keep the truth.

Taking a deep breath, Steve could only make his way further into the exhibit.  Inside a small room, he watched as a young, beautiful Peggy shared her memories.  Steve was grateful she had been able to have a normal life, to have what she deserved.  In the past few years, Steve had learned a great deal from her, and knew no matter what he would always cherish what little time they had left.  She was the only one left alive who understood and who knew.  

Steve left the exhibit and headed for his weekly meeting with Peggy.  He knew his time with her was coming to an end.  Many of the times he went to visit her now, she would forget - more bad days than good, but Steve knew he wouldn’t trade them for the world.  Even if his heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest every time she looked at him as if it was the first time all over again.  He stayed only a few hours before he left so she could get her rest and knew he wasn’t ready to go back to his apartment.  He needed to be around people, he needed something to help ground him to the world, not the past.  

He walked into the small meeting hall and followed the voices he could hear farther down the hall.  Hearing the stories of the veterans present, Steve for the first time that day felt almost like he was around others who knew, who understood.  He wasn’t completely sure if he could be just plain Steve Rogers here or not, so he stayed against the wall.  Sam Wilson, Steve felt, could be a good friend.  A man who could help him understand, maybe one who could help fill the void he felt in his soul.  Someone who may not fully understand, but someone who had an idea and who could help him.  As the meeting came to a close, Steve walked over to where Sam was cleaning up and leaned against the wall.  “Caught the last few minutes, was pretty intense.,” Steve looked over as some veterans continued to talk.

“Yeah brother, we all got the same problems.”  Sam looked up at Steve and let out a small breath - his eyes full of pain.  “Guilt, regret.”  Steve could relate.  

Since his return, since that damn day on the train that was all he could feel, all he could see.  Sleeping hadn’t gotten easier since he had woken up in a whole new time.  He could still see Bucky hanging out of the hole in the train, but Steve could never reach him in time.  “You lose someone?’

“My wingman, Riley.,” Sam went on to explain.  “Nothing we hadn't done a thousand times before.  Until a RPG knocked Riley's dumb ass out of the sky.  Nothing I could do.  It was like I was up there just to watch.”  Steve saw the same pain him Sam’s eyes that he himself saw in the mirror every morning.  

“I'm sorry,” Steve said knowing it wasn’t enough.  Never enough.  

“After that I had a really hard time finding a reason for being over there, you know?”  Sam could see the understanding on Steve’s face and gave a small, sad smile.  “You thinking about getting out?”

“No... I dont know.”  Steve thought back to what he had told Peggy, ‘ _For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right.  I guess I'm not quite sure what that is anymore.  And I thought I could throw myself back in and..Follow orders.  Serve.  it's just not the same.’_    Nothing had been right since he had come to this time, nothing seemed easy.  “To be honest I don't know what I'd do with myself if I did.”  He knew what the old him would do, but now...

“Seriously you could do whatever you wanted to do.  What makes you happy?”

If he had been asked that a few short years ago - at least a few years ago for him, he would have been able to answer that with ease.  Baseball games with Bucky, going to Coney Island, just sitting down by the river on a hot summer day.  Now, everything seemed so far away without Bucky there to share it all with .  “I don't know.”

~~~***~~~***

** Triskelion  **

Pierce walked back into his office after leaving Fury and the World Security Consul.  Reaching for his phone, he could only look out at the city and know the time had come.  “Prepare the Asset, I will be there in ten minutes,” he said without any preamble.  Standing he walked past his secretary and gave her a small smile.  “I’m going for some coffee, you want anything?”

“No thank you, sir.” The young woman glanced up and smiled back.  

It wasn’t long before he walked into the small containment room below the bank and placed a file on the side table.  “You’re target.  Complete annihilation within 12 hours, is that understood?”  Pierce stood still as the Asset looked over the file, memorizing the face and the possible path the target would take.  “Do not fail me,” Pierce stressed as he walked back out of the room.  He had no doubt that the Asset would do what needed to be done.  As much as he liked Fury, Pierce knew that he was a risk now, one that could not continue. “You should have stayed out of it, Nick.”

~~~***~~~***

Steve didn’t know when everything went to hell.  One minute he was trying to decide what if anything he could do with his life outside of SHIELD, the next he was standing by watching another person he was close to die right before his eyes.  Even though him and Fury had not seen eye to eye on much, Steve knew that deep down, Nick was a good man.  And even though a lot of his choices were ones that Steve thought to be wrong, Steve deep down understood the difficulty of being a leader.  But standing there and watching Nick get shot down in his apartment, then this... This person ... Steve wasn’t sure what to make of him.  There was something that seemed familiar, something that tugged at something within him.  The guy was fast almost as fast as Steve himself.  Strong enough to throw the shield back at Steve and knocking him back.  That metal arm... 

Something was going on, something big and Steve was determined to get to the bottom of it.  After his meeting with Alexander Pierce and the fight in the elevator, Steve knew he had to go underground.  Quickly, Steve went back to the hospital.  Whatever Fury was killed for, whatever the reason for SHIELD to turn against him was on that flash drive and Steve was going to find out.  Steve grabbed a hold of Natasha and pushed her into a small room, slamming her against the wall.  “I'm not gonna ask you again.”

Natasha could only look at him, looking almost as lost as Steve felt.  “I know who killed Fury.”  Steve let go of her arms and took a step back.  Metal arm, fast, strong, brown hair, blue eyes... The feeling of home Steve had briefly felt.  He had to know.  “Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists.  The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier.  He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years.”  

Fifty years?  Impossible.  “So he's a ghost story.”  The man Steve had chased didn’t look a day over 30 if that.  There is no way he could be over 50.

“Going after him is a dead end.  I know I've tried.  Like you said he's a ghost story.”  

“Well let's find out what the ghost wants.”  Steve grabbed a hold of Natasha’s arm and the two quickly escaped the hospital without much problem.  They headed toward the mall and Steve could only stand guard and keep a watch out as they began to get anything off of the flash drive.  It wasn’t until He looked down and saw where the signal was coming from that Steve knew that whatever was going on went far deeper than Fury’s death.  

Walking down the small road and seeing all the buildings, Steve could only give a small smile as everywhere he looked he could see himself.  Peggy, Dr. Erskine, Colonel Phillips... Hell even Hodge.  Steve lead the way to the bunker and felt the air leave his lungs briefly as he looked over the pictures of Howard, Peggy and Phillips.  They were the reason why he had stayed with SHIELD as long as he had, they were the reason why he was even here.  Something was going on, and Steve could only hope that the three in those pictures had nothing to do with what was currently going on.  

_ ROGERS, STEVEN BORN 1918.  ROMANOFF, NATALIA ALIANOVA, BORN 1984.   _

“It's some kind of recording,” Natasha began but Steve began to feel a chill move down his spine.  

_ I AM NOT A RECORDING, FREULIN.  I MAY NOT BE THE MAN I WAS WHEN THE CAPTAIN TOOK ME PRISONER IN 1945 BUT I AM _

“Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He's been dead for years.”  Steve tried to explain around the ice that started to fill his veins.  It couldn’t be.  Zola who had taken everything from him, who had been the reason why Bucky was dead now.  Steve had been relieved when he had found out the man was dead, his only wish had been that he could have been the one to take him out.  But hearing that voice again started to bring back all the memories Steve had been trying as of late to forget.  “Hydra died with the Red Skull.”

_ CUT OFF ONE HEAD.TWO MORE SHALL TAKE IT'S PLACE.  ACCESSING ARCHIVE.  HYDRA WAS FOUNDED ON THE BELIEF THAT HUMANITY COULD NOT BE TRUSTED ITH IT'S OWN FREEDOM.  WHAT WE DID NOT REALIZE WAS THAT IF YOU TRY TO TAKE THAT FREEDOM THEY RESIST.  THE WAR TAUGHT US MUCH.  HUMANITY NEEDED TO SURRENDER IT’S FREEDOM WILLINGLY.  AFTER THE WAR SHIELD WAS FOUNDED AND I WAS RECRUITED.   THE NEW HYDRA GREW A BEAUTIFUL PARASITE INSIDE SHIELD.  FOR 70 YEARS HYDRA HAS BEEN SECRETLY FEEDING CRISIS, REAPING WAR AND WHEN HISTORY DID NOT COROPERATE.  HISTORY WAS CHANGED.  _

“That's impossible SHIELD would have stopped you.”

_ ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN.   _

Steve could not believe what he was seeing.  Almost everything that he had read, had believed had been a lie.  He had died so that the world could be free of Hydra and yet, he was now realizing that they continued to grow in the very organization that had helped him bring them down.  They didn’t have time to dwell on it, as the door to the elevator closed behind them and the missile from SHIELD itself came at them.  Steve only had time to grab both of them and find cover.  

Once they made it safe and sound, Steve only knew of one place they may be safe.  As much as he hated to bring Sam into all of this mess, it was one place that SHIELD didn’t know about.  As Natasha went to clean up, Steve could only sit on the bed.  How could they?  How could they recruit Zola to SHIELD knowing what he had caused?  Zola was the reason Bucky was gone, and the Red Skull even had the means and tools needed to do what he had done.  How could they all betray him like that?  Did they even know?  Steve wished he could get the answers he wanted, but he also knew that the only one who may be able to answer could not.  He needed answers, but Steve knew they would have to wait.  First thing was to find out what Project Insight was and how to stop it.  Hydra was SHIELD, SHIELD was Hydra.  It left a foul taste in his mouth that he wasn’t sure would ever go away.  He had given his life to stop Hydra and now... Now Steve wasn’t sure what his purpose was.  

~~~***~~~***

Steve could almost laugh, almost.  The past couple of days had completely turned his life inside out.  Finding out about Project Insight, to Fury being ‘killed’, Zola, the Winter Soldier... Bucky.  ‘ _Even when I had nothing I had Bucky,_ ’ he had told the others.  Steve had to wonder back to the War.  Bucky had known then, hell they both had known that Zola had done something to him.  But never in Steve’s mind would he have thought it would allow Bucky to survive that fall.  If only Colonel Phillips had allowed them to search for Bucky. If only they had defied orders and went on their own.  Then Bucky would have been saved from all of this.  Bucky, the man he loved, had been turned into ... Whatever he was now.  _‘He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years_ ,’ Natasha had told him.  Steve wanted answers, he had to know what happened to Bucky.  What horrors did they put him through?  

_ Steve wanted to reach over and lay a hand on Bucky's shoulder but knew it wouldn't be welcome at that moment, so he just moved on to the next part.  "Then what happened?" _

_ "We got word that more men were coming in.  We lost a few between them being taken to the 'research' area and others who just couldn't handle it and were beaten for not producing what they wanted us to.  We tried so damn hard to cover for those who were too hurt or sick but we couldn't get to everyone."  Bucky sat back down on the bed and stared down at his hands.  "Well one day, the damn Hydra goons were trying to take one of the guys off the line to 'research' and I guess I lost it.  Stepped in and started to beat my way out of it, tried to get their attention off of him and onto me."  Bucky could only laugh slightly knowing where it had ultimately ended him.  "Guess it worked too.  Next thing I know I woke up on that damn table you found me on." _

_ Steve felt his heart break a little at hearing the tale so far, but he knew even though he wanted to call it all quits to allow Bucky the chance to stay silent he couldn't.  "What do you remember of your time there?" _

_ Bucky closed his eyes and leaned back slightly.  This was the part he couldn't get his mind around, couldn't understand.  "They never fucking asked any questions.  I was one of the leading NCOs but not once did they fucking ask me anything.  I just kept giving them my damn name, rank and service number you know.  But not once..."  Bucky took a deep breath and stared at the far wall of the tent.  "They injected me with something.  What I have no damn clue." He began, the whole time and pain running again through him as he felt himself start to shake.  "I fucking felt like I was on fire.  I have no clue what they were trying to do, or what their end game was, but ... not once did they ask me anything.  Just going on about phases you know?  Time for Phase two, or whatever." _

_ Steve watched as Bucky tried to calm himself, as he tried to come to terms with whatever they had done to him.  Steve wasn't sure he wanted to push the issue yet.  Maybe one day, but for right now he had learned enough to satisfy he higher ups.  Bucky had given no information, he had not betrayed his country for they had not even asked him anything, of that Steve was sure of.  "Is there anything you remember overhearing, anything at all that would be of interest?"  Steve asked trying to bring Bucky back from his memories.  He knew that Bucky would suffer for a while from whatever they had subjected him to in that small room, but Steve couldn't in good conscious make Bucky relive it.  He had to bring him back, back to the present.   _

_ "Um.. yeah."  Bucky took another deep breath and let it out slowly, reminding himself that he wasn't in that small room, that he was safe back at home base.  "I overheard them talking about moving the weapons.  They didn't say where but once the weapons we were helping them put together that damn V _alkyrie_ thing were done they were moving them to another location."  Bucky let out a long sigh as he once again bent forward to lay his elbows upon his knees.  "The only other thing I remember before you came was some talk about a special project, something called Soldier something.  I don't know.  I was a little out of it at the time." _

Steve wondered if Zola had planned it all along.  Everything.  From the experiment to the train, did Zola know he would have the chance to complete what he had started?  Did he know that Bucky would be the one to fall?  Did Howard and the others know about this project that Zola completed right under their nose?  That Bucky who they had all thought dead was being made into an assassin?

Steve took a deep breath and went outside the hideout.  He had to think, he had to come up with something... A way to bring Bucky back.  

No matter the cost.

~~~***~~~***

The Asset was malfunctioning.  Flashes ran across his vision, people he didn’t know.  The man on the bridge reaching out calling out for Bucky, a short man with glasses, falling, pain, part of his arm missing, a new metal one in its place.  He was malfunctioning and he didn’t know what to do.  How could he complete his mission, would they terminate him?  The Asset didn’t even hear his master come in the room, nor notice all the guns pointing at him.  All he could see was the man on the bridge.  “Mission Report.  Mission report now.”  The Asset didn’t respond, only turning his head after he felt a hand across his face.  He was being punished for failing.   

“Who's the man on the bridge?  Who was he?”  If he was going to be terminated, he wanted to know, had to know.  “I knew him.”

His master sat down in a chair beside him and looked at him with determination.  “Your work has been a gift to mankind.  You shaped the century.  And I need you to do it one more time.  Society is at a tipping point between order and Chaos.  Tomorrow morning we're gonna give it a push.  But if you don't do your part, I can't do mine.  And Hydra can't give the world the freedom it deserves.” 

So they were not going to terminate him.  All the Asset could see was blond hair, blue eyes... A smaller body and the larger one he had seen on the bridge overlapping.  A smiling face, laughing...   “But I knew him.”

The Asset didn’t hear much else as his master stood to leave.  “Then wipe him and start over.”  He knew he had made a mistake. He had not only failed in his mission, but had now also disappointed his master.  He would accept his punishment as the took the mouth guard between his teeth.  He had failed, he was malfunctioning.  It was time for repair, to make it right.  He could not function as he was.  He didn’t feel pain anymore - his masters had taken care of that. The only pain he could ever feel was when he was in this machine.  He could feel his mind get ripped apart, it wasn’t so much pain as it was being torn apart and remade.  It was the only time he could allow himself to scream, to feel the pain.  To be remade, to become what he was designed to do.  To be who and what he was.

A weapon.

_ ~~~***~~~***~~~*** _

**_ August 1936 _ **

**_ Steve 17 Bucky 18 _ **

_ Steve slowly made his way around the corner leading to his apartment filled with an emptiness he didn't know he was capable to feel.  He felt like his whole world was coming to an end.  His whole childhood gone, now he had to step up and be a man.  Bucky had already been out in the work force for at least a year while Steve helped take care of his ma.  Steve knew he now had to get a job and cover the expenses even more now than before.  In the eyes of society he had been a man for a year now, but all he felt was that he was still that little kid running to his ma.   _

_ As he rounded the corner he spotted Bucky making his way over to him -- part of him was grateful for his friend's presence while the other part of him wished to be alone.  It was like a war was raging inside him and he didn't know which way was up and which way was down.  "We looked for you after.  My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery," Bucky said quietly as they started up the stairs to Steve's apartment.   _

_ Steve remembered seeing Bucky waiting for him but knew he had to get out of there.  He didn't want Bucky to see him break down and Steve knew that he would.  "I know.  Sorry I just... Kinda wanted to be alone," he explained knowing Bucky would understand.  He had felt the same way after his ma passed.   _

_ "How was it," Bucky asked.  He remembered his ma's funeral how nice it had been despite the rain that day.  How he had felt like everything had ended.  His father had married again after a year, and Bucky hated living in that place but Steve's family had always been home.  His parents had always been nice and taken him in.  Steve had always cherished his mother and honored his father.  This would be a blow to his friend like nothing before and Bucky was determined to be there if he could -- if Steve would allow him. _

_ Steve couldn't look Bucky in the eye as they made their way up the steps  "It was ok.  She's next to dad."  That was the one comfort that Steve had, his parents were together again.  Neither one had to suffer any more. _

_ "I was just gonna ask..." Bucky began and Steve knew exactly what Bucky was offering. _

_ "I know what you're gonna say Buck, it's just...."  Steve patted his pockets for the key, not able to look Bucky in the eye.  He knew what Bucky was trying to do and he did appreciate it -- it was just too soon.   _

_ "We can put the couch cushions on the floor just like when we were kids.  It'll be fun.  All you gotta do is shine my shoes or maybe take out the trash," Bucky kicked the brick outside the door by the railing and bent down to pick up the key hidden there.  He hated seeing Steve in pain and knew that this was killing his friend.  Bucky wanted to do something to help and could only hope that Steve would take him up on the offer.  "Come on," he begged as he handed the key to Steve. _

_ "Thank you, Buck.  But I can get by on my own," Steve explained.  He didn't want Bucky to worry, to feel that he had to take care of him.  Bucky had done enough over the years that Steve felt that Bucky deserved better than to be stuck helping him out.  Bucky didn't need to be burdened by him.  He would make it one way or another. _

_ Bucky reached out and placed his hand on Steve's neck bending down slightly so he could look Steve in the eye.  "The thing is you don't have to," Bucky tried to stress hoping that Steve understood.  "I'm with you until the end of the line, pal." _

_ Steve felt the tears starting to build behind his eyes at his friend's vow and had to close his eyes.  "Thanks, Buck but really. I'll be ok." _

_ Bucky leaned his forehead against Steve's and let out a deep sigh.  He wanted Steve to know that no matter what he had his back that he would be there through it all if only Steve would let him.  "I know you will, but you don't always have to do things on your own.  You're all I have, Steve, and you've always had my back.  Let me have yours for once, please?  You're all that's good in this damn world and I want to be there.  I want to help.  You don't always have to do things on your own, sometimes you can ask for help and I'll be there.  No matter what, Ok?" _

_ Steve looked into Bucky's eyes and saw he honesty and love within them.  Maybe he could get through this, maybe it wasn't the end of the world.  Maybe just maybe he could count on someone else.  "Ok, just... give me some time ok?  But I promise..." _

_ Bucky pulled Steve into a tight hug and laid his head in Steve's shoulder.  "You know where I'll be ok?  If I don't hear from you in a week I'm gonna knock.  You hear me?" _

_ Steve could only nod, not trusting his voice.  He held tight to his friend and once again thanked God for the gift that was James Buchanan Barnes. _

~~~***~~~***

Steve heard Sam come up beside him, and he knew that Sam was going to try and talk him out of all of this.  “He’s gonna be there you know.”  Oh Steve was counting on it.  “Whoever he used to be, the guy he is now... I don't think he's the guy you save, he's the guy you stop.”

Steve put his hands in his pocket and tried not to think about that.  “I don't know if I can do that.”

“Well he might not give you a choice.  He doesn't know you,” Sam tried to get through to him.  

Steve knew that Sam was right, could be right.  But Steve was determined.  He knew what he could do, what he had to do.  Yes, he would stop Hydra but he would not lose Bucky again.  “He will.  Gear up, its time”  Steve had one more thing to get before they headed out.  If he was going to try and break through whatever Hydra did to Bucky he would need to go back in time himself.  It was time.  Hydra would not win this time, no matter the cost.  But no matter what, Steve knew he would not let Bucky down again.

~~~***~~~***

The Asset reached through the water, his metal hand grabbing ahold of the man’s uniform.  As he set the man on the side of the river, the Asset looked down to make sure he was breathing.  He had failed, they would be coming for him.  He wasn’t sure why he couldn’t finish it, what made him stop.  ‘I’m with you till the end of the line,’ the man had said.  ‘Your name is James Buchannan Barnes’.  The Asset had no name, he had nothing but the mission.  What was it about this man that made him stop?  

With his arm close to his body, the Asset turned and began to walk away.  Someone would come for the man beside the water, of that the Asset had no doubt.  Just as someone would be coming for him.  First thing he had to do was repair his arm.  He would suffer for his failure, they would make him pay.  The Asset if he was going to survive he would have to heal his arm first.  

He had to think...  His mission swore he knew him, that he had a name.  The Asset didn’t have a name, he wasn’t even a man.  He only existed for the mission, for his masters.  

Didn’t he?

~~~***~~~***

Steve and Sam returned to Sam’s place and Steve could only move to the couch pulling out the files.  Natasha had thankfully translated the file she had handed him, but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.  When he had first opened the file and saw the picture of Bucky, frozen.. In some type of tube.  Steve had to look down the page to see Bucky the way he remembered him.  That cocky look while he was in his uniform, that was the man he knew.  Reaching over to the side of the couch for his bag, Steve pulled out the files that Peggy had saved for him.  “Hey, beer,” Sam asked as he came up beside him.  “Looks like you need it.”

“I can’t get drunk,” Steve said with a small smile.

“Like never?  Now that is fucked up,” Sam sat next to Steve and took a long sip of his beer.  “So what’s the plan?”

Steve glanced down at the file in his hand and slowly handed it over to Sam. “There’s some things you need to know.  About me.. About Bucky.  Bucky was experimented on by Zola and Hydra before...”

“Yeah you mentioned that.  What does that have to do with anything,” Sam asked as he took the file in hand.  

Steve leaned back against the couch and let out a deep breath.  “It’s hard to explain.  What would you say if I told you I was... I guess the modern term is gay?”

Sam was grateful for not having taken a drink at that moment as he turned to look over at Steve.  “Well you do know that it’s not illegal or anything right?  But I can say I think I need my gay-dar revamped cause I never would have thought... Barnes?”

Steve gave a small laugh and shrugged.  “Yeah, but there’s a lot more to it,” Steve pointed at the file in Sam’s hand.  “Before you say yes, I think you need to understand what it is you’re getting yourself into.”  

~~~***~~~***

The Asset... Bucky... James Buchanan Barnes, Sergeant US Army, Three-two-five-five-seven-zero-three-eight.

He had snuck into the Smithsonian, thankfully for Hydra making his arm undetectable to modern security measures.  He had looked upon the pictures of a man who looked like him.  Faces he knew, or faces that he could almost swear he knew. 

_ "How much farther do you think we have to go," the Englishman asked as he looked down with a slight frown at the ration bar in his hand.   _

_ Steve looked around and tried to calculate how far they have come.  "Most likely one at most two more days.  We'll need to conserve the few rations we have for now.  But the plan is to be back at base camp either late tomorrow night if all goes well, or early the next morning.  If we don't run into any resistance that is." _

_ "How rude of me, Captain. I am Major James Montgomery Falsworth, at your service," the Englishman held out his hand and shook Steve's.  "As crazy as it was for you to come all this way to rescue us, I must say it was absolutely brilliant." _

_ "Gabe Jones, and this here is Jacques Dernier," one of the two men that Steve had remembered seeing with Bucky when they had gotten out of the complex.   _

_ The Asian looking man off to the side, only nodded in acknowledgment and waved.  "Jim Morita." _

_ "And I'm Timothy Dugan known to everyone as Dum Dum.  That was one hellova rescue if I say so myself.  No backup, no extraction team.  Either you are insane, or just one of the bravest most idiotic men I have ever met," Dugan laughed as he held out his hand.   _

_ Bucky could only shake his head, "I'll agree with idiotic," he quietly said as he placed his ration down on the ground and stood up.  "I'm going to check the perimeter.  Think if I eat that I'll lose what little bit I have in my stomach.  Excuse me gentlemen, Captain."  With that Bucky walked off leaving Steve to wonder just what was going on.   _

Dum Dum, Falsworth, Dernier, Morita, Jones....names and faces flashed before his mind.  The man on the bridge was with them.  Steven Grant Rogers, Born July 4, 1918 Brooklyn New York.  Best friend to James Buchannan Barnes Born March 10, 1917.  The eldest of four children - Lucille, Myrtle Elmer.  

The Asset, Bucky, James, Yasha, stood in front of the large display of the man with his face.  Is this who he had been?  Is he this James Barnes?  He never knew anything other than being Hydra’s fist, their Asset.  Was he truly a man once?  

Hydra hadn’t come for him, his handlers had all but vanished.  He was malfunctioning, he was broken, he had failed.  Flashes of a life he never knew were bombarding his mind.  He could not sleep - ‘men sleep, yes?  He could not think straight.  

He needed answers, he needed to find Hydra and demand answers.  

He needed to know who he was, and who the man -- his failed mission -- was.  

The Asset had a new mission.

The Asset would find out who he was and what had happened to him.

The Asset would get answers for besides this last mission, he never failed.  

He would get the answers he needed.  

One way or another.

~~~***~~~***

End of interlude....

Next up, Steve searches for Bucky... Bucky searches for who he is....

~~~***~~~***

**Author's Note:**

> Hoping to post at couple times a week. 
> 
> Ducking now on the little bit of sadness in this part. (and how short it is)


End file.
